Me in the Maze Runner
by letnewtlive33
Summary: Essentially, this is a story where the main character has no memories except her name, those related to the first book, and those related to Newt's death and past. Possible Newt x OC, I haven't decided yet. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

Me in the Maze Runner

Lindsay woke up in a pitch, black room. She couldn't even see her hands. She suddenly was reminded of the first scene in _The Maze Runner,_ and laughed at the similarities, despite her slight terror at her unknown surroundings.

Then the room started moving upwards. Unseen boxes next to her started to fall because of the[LM1] movement. She tried to move out of the way, but failed. One hit her head knocking her out again.

Time lapse

"Hey, I think she's waking up. Get Newt!"

Lindsay heard a male voice through her disoriented daze. She opened her eyes just as a guy with blonde hair walked in. he had a limp, and she definitely recognized him, but that just confused her. How was he even here? It didn't make sense to her.

"Am I dreaming?" The boy laughed, amused by the comment.

'No shank, you're not. You're in the Glade." She didn't really believe him. _I mean this is freaking Newt. He's a book character!_ She thought. However, she decided to play along. _It'll be a better dream that way,_ she decided.

"Umm… the what?"

"The Glade. You'll learn more on the tour. It'll be tomorrow, we don't have the bloody time today." She thought for a moment. _Is it suspicious that I'm not freaking out? Am I a good enough liar to fake fear?_ That's when it hit her. _Wait… I can't remember anything! Well, except Maze Runner things. Does-does that mean that this is actually real?!_

"I'm Newt by the way. You got a name shank?"

"I'm, uh, Lindsay." She tried to ask all the questions that seemed to swarm her head, there were too many trying to get out of her mouth at once. If this was a dream, it was doing a really good job of acting like reality. Still, how could she be talking to book characters? When in the book's plot is this anyway? Is she interfering with the plot?

"Is-is this a hospital?" It sounded stupid. Of course it was, there was medical equipment all around, but, out of all the questions in her head, it was the only one that came out. Newt chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, when you came up in the box you were bloody unconscious. We took you to the Medjacks, 'said it seemed you hit your head real bad. You should probably get some more rest."

"No, I think I'm ok. Could I take a look around?" She wanted to get away from people. She was overwhelmed, and needed time to think. Plus, since she was here, she wanted to get a firsthand look at the Glade. _It's not every day you get to be in your favorite book._

"I don't see why not, as long as you don't get in anyone's way." She walked out of what she secretly knew to be the Homestead. She walked toward the west entrance of the maze. She knew she wasn't supposed to go into the maze, and she didn't really want to, but she wanted to know how it worked. _How much of the movie is true? I hope Thomas and Theresa still have telekinesis._ They looked like she thought they would, impossible to move. They were made of tan bricks and were tangled with vines. They looked enormous, as wide as her arm was long, and taller than she could ever even dream to climb. _One point for the book!_ She mentally fist pumped.

She wanted to go see the Dead Heads, but figured she'd probably just get lost. She didn't know the way, and it was a really thick forest. Since there wasn't much else she was really interested in seeing, she sat down at the edge of the forest around the Dead Heads.


	2. Chapter 2

(Authors note: most of the time things in italics are Lindsay's thoughts.)

Using this moment of nothing-ness, she focused on her thoughts. What was she going to do? She had a feeling she wasn't a very good liar and she knew, with the craziness of the book and the fact she was a freaking girl, she would most definitely be questioned.

"I hope Newt's the interrogator, Alby kinda scares me." _What will I say? I can't just be like 'Yup, you're all book characters to me, and the events of that book is literally the only memories I have except for my name.' Yeah that'll really go over well. Besides the mind-blowing, soul shattering part, it might have an effect on the story. That wouldn't be good._

"Hey! Hellooo! Anybody in there?" the voice startled her out of worries.

"Oh, sorry, I was umm… thinking."

"Cleary. So, what's your name?" she couldn't quite tell who he was. She hadn't really watched the movie, just seen the trailer, so she didn't recognize all the actors, just her favorites.

"Lindsay, and you?"

"Thomas. Have you been here long enough to get the tour?"

"No. I hit my head in _the Box,_ so I wasn't awake long enough to get it."

"I don't think I saw you around here while exploring though, so where were you?" she thought she knew the answer, but she figured she could figure out what part of the story she was at.

"I'm new too so I was over with Winston to see if mucking the stalls and cutting up pigs was the job for me." They simultaneously rolled their eyes.

"sounds like fun."

"Yeah, I'm with you; I nearly puked slicing those things."

"You know, none of this even feels real. People aren't supposed to be in these kinds of situations in actual life."

"Yeah… It's kinda like something out of a book." Lindsay smirked. He didn't realize how right he was.

"Yeah, kinda."

"Well, it looks about time for dinner, we should probably get going."

"Alright." Dinner went by uneventfully. After dinner, the walls moved. A few shanks tried to explain the loud noise, not that they needed to, but they didn't know that.

"God, that noise was awful."

"Yep. Bloody things do that every night, eventually you just get used to it." She was chatting with Newt. She both loved and dreaded it. It was hard enough talking to the rest of the main cast, what with the weird feeling of talking to book characters and the nervousness of almost blurting things out that she "shouldn't" know, but talking to Newt was worse. He was her favorite character, so not only would she have to keep from fangirling, she'd also have to pretend she didn't know him at all. It would be a difficult task.

"I hope so." The conversation continued, though Newt did most of the talking. Lindsay couldn't seem to get to many words out of her mouth. It was a combination of admiration, fear of slipping up with her knowledge, and worried compassion for the boy. Luckily, he, and she for that matter, didn't know if that was normal for her or not.

Soon enough it was time for bed. She got her own room in the Homestead, since she was the only conscious girl. Unlike most Greanies on their first night, it didn't take her long to fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Lindsay, get up I need to show ya something." She woke up to someone gently shaking her. She groaned and opened her eyes.

"N-Newt?" Her eyes widened for a moment, but then she recalled the events of the previous day.

"Morning, mate. Come with me, Alby says I gotta show you the grievers." Her face paled. She had been semi-curious about the look of the grievers, but she really wasn't ready to see one yet.

"O-okay." She tried to steady her voice, since she wasn't supposed to know to be scared. They tip-toed out of the Homestead and headed toward one of the many windows in the walls of the Glade. When they got there, Newt started a speech Lindsay knew all too well. She didn't pay attention much, she was too busy worrying about the possible nightmares she might have.

She noticed he'd stopped talking, and took that as her que to look through the window. It was probably because she was tired, but she got up the courage to put her face to the window. If she was going to be forced to see a griever she was going to get a good and detailed look.

She waited for what felt like forever, but was probably only a minute or two. Then a red light ran over her like a scanner. Two seconds later a horrifying creature lunged towards her. She gasped and nearly moved away, but couldn't resist the urge of getting the best look she could. With further inspection, she realized what she had imagined was nothing compared to the creepiness of this thing.

Her vision was a slug-like creature with a singular mechanical claw and spikes that would retract into its blubbery body every few seconds. However, this looked more like a spider with about 4 mechanical legs and more of a larva shaped body. She'd finally had too much and slowly moved away.

"Shuck it. You're the bravest chick I ever met. I mean you're the only bloody conscious chick I remember meeting but still." Newt stared at her in aww. She blushed profusely.

"I-I mean I didn't think it could get to me with this wall in the way s-so…"

"Still that was bloody amazing. Anyway, the sun's coming to greet us, meaning it's soon time for breakfast. Afterwards Alby wants to talk to you, then you'll start your tour. Now normally Alby would give it to ya, but today he'll be out checkin' on something, so your stuck with me. Got all that?"

"Yup, sounds good."

"Good that. Now let's go see what muck Frypan's cooked up this time." He winked and walked off. She quickly followed, her mind starting to wander again. During breakfast, she sat with Thomas and Chuck. They were talking but she was only half listening. Something about a shank attacking. She was worrying again. She still didn't know if she could fool Alby, and only hoped that his unfamiliarity with her would work to her advantage. She was also nervous for the tour. It was a full day with Newt, how was she supposed to act dumb for that long?

"Hey Lindsay, you okay?"

"Hey yeah, you look really worried." Apparently, her thoughts showed on her face, she'd have to be careful of that.

"Y-yeah I'm fine. Just… thinking. Alby wants to talk to me about something, I just hope I didn't screw something up already." It was a flat out lie. She knew what he wanted, but she had to feign ignorance for now.

"Don't worry, you probably didn't. See, things have been changing around here, it started when I got here and he's been asking me questions left and right. Seems to think I somehow know something.

"Anyway, he'll probably just be doing the same thing to you since, if you haven't noticed, girls aren't that common in the Glade." Well at least with Thomas' explanation she wouldn't have to continue lying about that.

"Thanks, that makes me feel so much better." She rolled her eyes and laid her head on the table for a second. "Well, I better get going. Don't want to make things worse by being late."

"Good luck!" They said simultaneously while chuck gave her a thumbs up. She found Newt, and luckily for her, Alby was sitting with him.

"Listen shank, some mighty strange things have been happening, and all I want is some shucking answers. Now, you got any memories?"

"My name. everything else's been wiped, sorry." She'd figured out one thing, she hated lying. She'd done it several times now, and it didn't feel good. It made her feel alone, isolated.

"Well, if you remember anything, anything at all, tell me or Newt. Got that?" she nodded. "Good that. Well I'll be off. You and Newt can start the tour." And with that he left. Luckily, it seemed he was in a hurry.


	4. Chapter 4

**MORE AUTHOR'S NOTES**

 **So, from now on it my take a bit longer for me to upload. I've gotten to the point where I've uploaded everything I've already written, so I now have to write the next chapter which may take a while. Also, I forgot to note that I DO NOT OWN THE MAZE RUNNER TRILOGY. So with that out of the way, now back to your regularly scheduled fanfic.**

* * *

Newt took her around everywhere. The Homestead, the gardens, the stalls with all the animals, even the slammer and the Deadheads. Then he explained the possible jobs in the Glade. She noticed he left out one.

"What about the runners?" She'd blurted it out before she'd realized it, and oh boy did she regret it.

"How do you know 'about that? I didn't say anything about runners."

"W-well, I looked out one of those doorways yesterday, and there seems to be a maze out there. I-I just assumed-"

"Yeah?" He raised his voice in annoyance. "Then why did you tense up when I asked about it? Or for that matter when anyone asks about your bloody memories? I noticed you do that, you know. I just assumed that maybe you didn't like questions or it was the new surroundings, but I'm not so sure anymore."

"W-well, I just… I mean… I didn't…" Her mind went blank. She didn't know what to do, and definitely needed time to think. So she ran, hoping she could come up with a good excuse while doing so.

"Hey!" She heard Newt, but didn't slow. She headed toward the forest. She figured maybe the confusing path would give her time to climb a tree and hide.

she succeeded, but she heard Newt not far behind. _Alright, think!_ No excuses would work; they weren't convincing enough. _Why, why had I been so careless?_ She thought. _Me and my dumb mouth._ Suddenly Newt's footsteps slowed and stopped. She sat dead still. _Maybe he won't see me?_

"Lindsay, it's bloody hard to talk like this. Could you please come down?" She was caught. Reluctantly, she nodded and climbed down. She turned, face to face with Newt. He seemed to have calmed down, which was good.

"Any chance we can go back to the tour and forget all this?"

"Nope, sorry shank. That chance was squashed when you ran off."

"Yeah, just thought I'd try. Okay, so here's the thing. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have **_all_** my memories, I don't. However, I do have memories pertaining to a certain book I, apparently, read. It was about a boy who was thrown into a place where no one had memories, and they all worked together to solve a maze. A maze that just so happened to be infested with deadly, giant, spider-like creatures. Is this ringing a bell?"

Newt raised an eyebrow. He seemed on the edge, but why wouldn't he be? It was a really crazy story. "So a book written about the glade? That's the bloody story you're going with?"

"Well I can prove it. See the story start when Thomas gets here; it's from his point of view. Since I read that book I know this I shouldn't be able to know. Things like when Thomas got here you were supposed to get him a bed, but Ben cried out and you went to see him, leaving Thomas with Chuck. Afterwards, Thomas broke a rule and also went to see Ben. Minho and Alby? Yeah, they went to check on what is "supposedly" a dead griever today. Gally _really_ hates Thomas. Theres- I mean the girl came during Thomas's tour. You and Alby were part of the original group to be sent here, and…oh…yeah." she remembered something, something that would prove that she wasn't lying.

"Your limp, you, you got it, you got it from…" Sobs interrupted her sentence. Having a book character get a limp from attempted suicide is one thing, but if you find out that character is real, especially when that character is your favorite, it could really get to you. She'd put off the thought, too busy worrying about keeping her memories secret. But now the thought consumed her. She couldn't stop the tears. Newt put his hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay. I believe you, you don't have to continue." She sniffled. It took a minute or two, but she, somehow, pulled herself together.

"S-sorry, sorry. I'm okay now. Anyway, I can't tell you anything about your future. You understand that, right? Knowing your future could bias your choices, thus changing the story. That could have seriously negative consequences. You also probably shouldn't tell anyone else about this, the less that know the better. Can you promise me that?"

"Yeah, I see your point, that's probably the smart thing to do. But umm, I just got one more question."

"Shoot."

"You said the book was from Tommy's perspective, but I haven't told Tommy about my limp. So how do you know about that?"

"Well, uh, let's just say 'Tommy' eventually finds out. I mean, even I don't entirely know how. I only read the first book, and happened to accidentally learned that. It was kinda a spoiler for me too."

"Well, I guess that makes sense. Anyway, we better continue the tour, if we don't the other shanks'll get suspicious."

"yeah, you're probably right." So, we continued the tour. It took the rest of the day, and, thanks to Newt, didn't bore me _too_ much.


	5. Chapter 5 (WARNING:Not the next chapter)

**Author's note: Sorry it's taking so long to upload things, (my editor's really busy. :() so here's a short one-shot between Newt and Lindsay. It's not the next chapter, but it is a conversation that may have happened soo... yeah. Enjoy!**

It was time for the bonfire. The gladers host one once a week, but Lindsay didn't really feel like going. She wasn't very good at small talk, and would just prefer to curl up with a good book right now, that is, if she had one. So instead she decided to take a stroll through the Dead Heads.

As she was walking she was once again reminded of how fake and calculated this place was. Not that she really forgot, it constantly felt staged since this was all supposed to be fiction, but in the Dead Heads, it stuck out even more so. In a forest, you typically hear lots of sounds, birds singing, crickets chirping, frogs croaking, etc. You never really think about them, they just kind of flow in the background, filling up the silence. That is till they're gone.

The Dead Heads had no such noises. It was silent, with only the occasional sound of a beetle blade scuttling along. The stillness bothered her, she couldn't stand it. So, she sat down and started making pictures in the dirt in an attempt to distract herself. It kind of worked, while doing it her mind started to drift towards other things. Mostly the craziness of the situation she was in. She just couldn't believe it!

It was out of this world! She was in the Glade, eating lunches with Thomas and Chuck, and sharing her secrets and fears with Newt, heck, even sitting in the Dead Heads was baffling to her.

"Hey! Lindsay!"

"Speak of the devil." She muttered under her breath as she watched Newt run up.

"What're… you… doing? Bonfire…. Happenin'… Now…" He said through heavy breaths. Before she could even respond he sat down next to her, too tired from running with his limp.

"I decided not to go. I mean, just cause I read the book doesn't mean I know you guys that well, and besides the later it gets, the more likely it will be that I slip up and say something I shouldn't, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it, but you wouldn't mind if I kept you company would ya? I've been meaning to ask you some questions about that…. secret of yours."

"Nah, that's fine. Shoot." So, he started asking her questions. Some were easy, things like her favorite scene or least favorite character, and some were too spoiler-y to answer, but she had a lot of fun throughout the whole "interview."

"Right, right, that makes sense." They'd been asking and answering questions for a while now, and Newt was kind of running out of them. "So, then….why'd you like it so much? What made this," he motioned around himself, "so interesting to ya?"

"Well, I liked how we got to learn everything with Thomas without it just feeling like awkward exposition, but really it was the characters and the way they reacted to the scenarios they were put in." _Mostly a certain someone's reactions…_ she thought.

"Really? Is that your favorite character? Who is the bloody shank then?" His comment jerked her out of her thoughts, and she didn't hear the hint of jealousy in it.

"what?" The wheels in her brain started turning, and she mentally facepalmed at the realization that she'd said that out loud. "Wait- did I? No, I didn't mean- but, umm…well, you see… it's like…uh… Spoilers?" he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on! What's knowing their shuck name gonna do? Even if I haven't met them yet, it's not like it'll give away anything major about the bloody plot or anything!" She knew he was right, and that she couldn't reason her way out.

"But it's embarrassing!" she blushed.

"Hey, I swear on my life I won't tell a soul, so please? You can trust me, can't you?" He looked into her eyes pleadingly. _Well, that would help if that was what I was worried about, you ignorant numbnut!_ She wasn't sure where that insult came from, but it felt right. _And how am I supposed to say no when you ask like that?!_ She sighed.

"But…"

"Lindsay, it's not that weird. It's not like you knew we were bloody real at the time, right?" She sighed again. He was so genuinely interested that she just felt wrong keeping it from him.

"F-fine. H-he's…" She mumbled out his name, causing Newt to raise an eyebrow.

"Greenie, I'm pretty sure even a bloody bat couldn't hear what you just said."

"R-right sorry, it's just… hard." She took a deep breath and tried again, though to make it easier she looked at the ground this time. "Okay so, you see, the guy… he's umm… well…" she closed her eyes, her face as red as a ripe apple. "I-it's you." She looked back up to see his face reddening as well.

"M-me?... But… why?" He wasn't joking when he asked. Unfortunately, his self-esteem was just so low that he honestly couldn't fathom the idea that he was someone's "favorite character."

"Why? What do you mean why?" She finally looked back up into his eyes again, despite her blush. "You're sweet and kind, but at the same time you're really sarcastic and funny." Lindsay smiled at him. "The perfect combination, plus you're a great leader. Everyone looks up to you, probably cause you're confident and seem to always know what to do, even if you secretly are just as lost as everyone else." At this point she seemed to have realized her surroundings, and looked back down blushing more.

"I- umm, I mean…" Her mumbles were cut off by something squeezing her.

"N-Newt?!" She jolted her head upwards.

"Thank you. I can't say if you're bloody right, but that doesn't matter." He separated a bit and looked at her. "that was the most uplifting thing I've ever been told, so… thank you."

"You're welcome. You deserve it."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note**

 **Sorry for the change in perspective in the last chapter, I didn't see it ahead of time.**

Soon enough, it was night. Thomas, Minho, and Alby were stuck in the maze, but she knew they'd be fine. However, she still couldn't seem to get to sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Newt. It made her realize something. She had the power to save almost everyone. That thought should've made her happy, but it didn't. Because though she could do that, it would _majorly_ change the story. Plus, it wasn't even a guarantee.

Sure, she could easily just tell Newt how to get out, and that _would_ save them from the "one a night" phase. However, doing so might cause him, or someone else, to die in a way that didn't happen in the book. She wouldn't be able to save them then. Which was more important, saving the main characters or the possibility of saving more people in general? Eventually her exhaustion won out, and she drifted into a deep sleep.

She was in full on zombie mode. She got dressed and went to breakfast, her thoughts from last night haunting her constantly. She took her usual seat with Thomas and Chuck, who immediately noticed she wasn't herself. They hadn't known her for long, but she was just _that_ obviously troubled. She was so deep in thought though, she didn't even notice their looks.

"Hey! Hey, Lindsay! Helloooo!" She didn't respond, even when Thomas waved his hand in her face.

"Wow, she must have some serious klunk on her mind." Chuck commented, "she can't even hear you."

"Yeah." They sat there, silently watching her in awe and worry. She only came out of her thoughts after she'd finished her food and eaten three forkfuls of air.

"Oh! Umm, well I guess it's time to get to work. I think I'm with Winston today."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Thomas hooked her by the arm. "Not so fast. You still have some time." He sat her down beside him. "Now, what's got you so worked up this time? It must be pretty serious. I called you, like, three times, even waved my hand in your face, but you just sat there, heck, you didn't even notice us sitting in total silence this entire time!"

"O-oh," She blushed. "I'm sorry. I didn't hardly get any sleep last night. Must've just spaced out." She smiled awkwardly, hoping they would buy her story. Thomas raised an eyebrow.

"You sure?"

"Yep, I'm sorry for making you two worry so much."

"Nah, it's all good shank!" Chuck exclaimed while hugging her. "I'm just glad it wasn't something serious, though you should try to get more sleep."

"I will!" Lindsay smiled and left, believing she had thoroughly convince them. Thomas, however, still had his doubts. Though, since he didn't think he could get her to tell him, he went to Newt. Ever since the tour she seemed more relaxed with him, more open, closer. Plus, Thomas could easily see she liked him, she talked about him constantly and he noticed her staring at him from afar. He figured if anyone could get it out of her, it was Newt.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Sorry for the random comments, I keep forgetting to delete the editing tips before publishing**

Lindsay was quickly realizing that being a "slicer", as the gladers called it, wasn't her thing. The smell of blood sickened her, and when they were butchering a pig, she couldn't help but feel bad about killing the innocent swine. Though, she didn't mind taking care of the animals. _Too bad that's not a job on its own._ She thought.

Soon enough it was lunch, much to her relief. Though that relief quickly faded with the return of her more stressful thoughts. They came the second she stopped working. She grabbed her lunch and went to sit down, but as she did so Newt called for her.

"Hey Lindsay, grab your lunch, we're eating outside. I need to talk to ya." She obliged. Outside was warm. The sky was blue, the sun high, the grass was the perfect shade of green. None of it seemed appropriate for the internal struggle she was having. However, she tried to put on a smile as they sat down, she didn't want a rehash of that morning. Unfortunately, she failed. The smile looked faker than an amateur magic show.

"So, what's up?"

"Why don't you tell me. Tommy said you were acting strange this morning and, judging by your expression, I'd venture to say he's right."

"That slinthead! I told him I was fine." She sighed. "Look Newt, I really am fine. You don't have to worry about it. I'm just really tired." She shrugged for emphasis.

"Lindsay, you're not bloody fine!" He shouted, and then said in a quieter voice, "You're the definition of upset right now. So, just tell me what the shuck is going on."

"It's fine I can handle it, besides it's none of your business anyway."

"Aha! So, there is something bothering you." She rolled her eyes.

"If this is all we're going to talk about, then I'm leaving." She got up and tried to, but Newt blocked her path. She thought about going around him but from the look in his eyes, she could tell that probably wasn't going to work.

"Newt, it's not even that important."

"Well, if it's not important then why are you trying so bloody hard to keep it from me?" she sighed. She was starting to get really annoyed with Newt's persistence. She was about to retort when a thought struck her.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey wait, where's Thomas?" She looked around, though she knew he wasn't near them.

"Presumably eating lunch with chuck, why?" He raised an eyebrow, which he seems to do a lot when with Lindsay.

"No, no, no, no, no, no! Crap, I'm such an idiot!" She put her face in her hands. She was freaking out. How had she messed up already without even realizing it?

"Calm down, we can't get anywhere when you're so frantic."

"Okay, okay. You're right. Maybe it's not that bad, right?" She took a breath to calm herself, then looked back at Newt. "What were you doing before lunch today?"

"Well, we had a meeting, we were trying to figure out what to do about Tommy and his bloody rule breaking habits."

"And after?"

"Tommy and I are going to take a look at the other girl, see if we can figure why everything's changing all of a sudden."

"Oh, good." She sat back down, sighing in relief. Newt took his place next to her, still confused as to why that even mattered. "Alright look, I'll make you a deal. If you go have the rest of lunch with Thomas, further explaining to him the afternoon activities, I'll tell you what I'm so worried about." She looked down at her hands. "I don't want to, but I'm willing to if it will set things back on track."

"I'm guessing that what I did in the book then?" Newt asked after remembering about Lindsay's "special" memories. She nodded shyly, a slight blush covering her cheeks. "Alright, deal." He finally said as they shook on it.

The rest of the day went by relatively quickly. Winston showed her how to clean the tools for butchering, muck the stalls, feed the different animals, milk the cows, and all the other stuff being a slicer would entail. He let her go early. She was pretty sure it was because he'd realized her distaste for certain parts of the job, but was honestly just glad for the break. She decided to get a better look at the graves, since she knew the way there now.

While on her way, she thought about her promise to Newt. How could she even to start to explain it? It be a daunting task to do without giving spoilers. She'd also been thinking about the decision she'd come to during their conversation. After today, she was going to have as little contact with main characters as possible. It was too risky, heck, all she was doing was worrying and she nearly changed the plot. She couldn't let herself do that again. At least, not unless it was purposeful.

She finally made it to the graves. There weren't too many, and most of them had sloppily written names on them. _Typical boys, can't even take the time to write neatly._ She smirked. She started reading through the names. Names like Stephen, Nick, Neil, Leo, etc. were written there. She wished she had her normal memories. She would've had fun pinning these names to scientists.

Then she came to the glass grave. She didn't even want to look at it, she'd seen enough insides with the slicers, and didn't want to see any more. She'd turned to walk away, but accidentally bumped into something. Stumbling back, she rubbed her head. She opened her eyes, and realized it wasn't a something, but a someone.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know you were there." It had been Newt. He'd probably come looking for her, since she'd promised to tell him her troubles.

"It's fine. It was probably my fault for not bloody saying anything." He looked down, rubbing his neck. "I was going to, but you turned around before I could."

"Well anyway, I'd like to get as far away from _that_ thing as possible," she made a gesture toward the glass grave, making note not to actually look at it, "You wanna find a place to sit?" He nodded.


	9. Chapter 9

They walked back along the path for a while, until they came to two tree stumps. Sitting down, they faced each other. A few seconds went by in silence while Lindsay gathered her thoughts. Newt didn't push her; he simply waited for her to talk.

"Okay… Wow this is hard. So, I'm going to try to not give you spoilers, but if you happen to hear something that you think might happen, _ignore it!"_ She looked him dead in the eyes, no sign of a smile on her face. looking at him a second more, she let it sink in, "The struggle I'm having isn't one I can just tell you, for obvious reasons, so I guess this is sort of a basic representation of it? Look, just know that it is an _example_. I may use a person's name, but that doesn't mean something happens to them." He nodded, just wanting to help her, even if all he could do was listen. She took a breath to calm herself.

"So, it's like if you have two buttons, one saves a couple of shanks from… let's say cancer, but it causes cancer to have no symptoms, essentially, causing you to never be able to tell if someone will die from it or not. The other lowers… Alby's, Minho's, and… umm…Chuck's chances of getting cancer by roughly 80%. However, it guarantees at least ten shanks you may or may not know will get cancer… and _die_ from it." She wasn't the best at explaining, but her voice conveyed the needed emotion for Newt to understand.

"The only other option," she sighed, looking up to make eye contact again, "is not choosing either button. This would sentence both Alby and Chuck to have cancer, and …die from it..." A tear drops on her hand; she hadn't realized she was crying. "I-I don't know…I'm not… I'm not a leader… I'm not a god." She sobbed some more.

"Shuck it, I'm not even a main character, so why do these decisions fall on me? Why-" She sighed, wiping her tears. "Why do I even have these shuck memories?" Newt, who had been lost in thought for a while finally spoke.

"Look I don't know why the creators sent you, or why they gave you those bloody memories. But I do know you need to save them, save your friends. Cause in a place like this, they're all you've bloody got." She looked down and sighed.

"Yeah, I know. I think I had already decided that. I just…I can't help but feel guilty. What about all those other shanks?" Newt took her hand and squeezed it.

"You didn't cause the hurt, _they_ did."

"But… I didn't stop it either." They sat there in silence for a while, neither moving. She was so frustrated with everything. The creators brought her here, even left her with some memories, but what can she do them? The answer? Nothing. At least none that she could think of. Every option she came up with wasn't a guarantee, and most would have heavy consequences, both good and bad.

She let out a frustrated sigh, got up, and threw a rock towards a thin branch, breaking it off, and watched them plummet to the ground. "Maybe if I was stronger, or faster, or had any shuck useful abilities I could actually do something, but…" A couple more tears dropped from her face. "I can't…All I'm good for is information."

"Hey, information's important." Newt encouraged. "None of us have any bloody information, so yours'll be mighty useful."

"And when all my valuable information becomes irrelevant?"

"By then we'll have found something else you're bloody good at." He gave her a crooked smile.

"I sure hope so." She didn't quite look convinced, but seemed to at least be in a better mood than before. They headed off to dinner, a comfortable silent engulfing them.


End file.
